Mad at myself for drinking so much...worried about the texts sent to Match man (he initiated texts, but I was much "wittier" than I would have been sober - ugh - at least he doesn't know me well enough to know how crazy I really am). Disappointed in myself - what kind of mom am I? I have THE best daughter in the world and I act like an idiot - I want better for her.
I remember the tipping point yesterday - right after that second glass of wine, pouring myself another, and it was game on.
I wanted to check out, and I did.
Only now, I have to check back in and deal with...
the aftermath
-shame
-disappointment
-anger at myself
-embarassment (my "witty" banter with Match man)
-knowing I won't do what I need to do today (go to gym, do quality school work)
-physically feeling like crap
ugh
Dear WCM,
ReplyDeleteI've been there many times too.
I am so glad you are not giving up.
It is hard to deal with the pain of life and not try to escape it.
Peace and Hugs,
Wendy
Thanks Wendy
DeleteThe tipping point was the first sip. I could almost never find the off switch after that.
ReplyDeleteBig hug. Try again. There is so much life being missed when we add ooze.
Give sober a chance. You will me amazed.
It's just so hard!!!!
DeleteWhere are you? Come back....
ReplyDeleteDon't let alcohol get the best of you.....
I'm a teacher and single mom too.....we need each other....
I know you want to find the peace you're looking for .... be still ....and listen.... It's right there... inside you...
Hugs..... xo
http://sober4mommy.blogspot.ca
I'm still here sober mommy - still trying to find my way - I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it!
Delete