Surrender

So tonight I went to an AA meeting.  I almost didn't go, almost talked myself out of it, but I went, almost compelled to go, and you know what??? I survived.  Not only did I survive, but I liked it!  The group was filled with warm, friendly, funny people.  In the meeting they talked a lot about acceptance as it relates to life in general and trying not to control things (i.e, the Serenity Prayer).  When these people talked, the things they said were very similar to my ways of thinking.  Then, one man spoke at the end who had 12 days.  He talked about acceptance as to whether or not he was an alcoholic, because he wasn't a binge drinker, or an every day drinker, and he didn't have a low low like others he had heard of in the meetings, and he still struggled with whether or not that he was an alcoholic in comparison, but that he felt much better and less anxiety ridden in his 12 sober days.

The people were so welcoming and encouraging, I felt at home - I chatted with many of the women after the meeting and they shared that many of them had similar stories.

I think I can do this.  I got an email from Belle a couple of days ago (I rejoined 100 day challenge) about adding things when you relapse...like what can you do differently?  This time I will add AA.

I got my white chip of surrender on Day 4.