A drinking month (or so) and DAY 1

So...here I am again...going to try to stop drinking.  Earlier today I sat down and analyzed my drinking behavior over the past month or so (37 days to be exact), and recorded how much I drank.  Here is a synopsis:

2/8: 2 beers at Sushi dinner with Match man - that was our first and last date

2/17: Binge 1: see my post - simple as that - for all of the gory details

2/27: Happy Hour with friends at Mexican restaurant - 1 Large margarita and either 3 or 4 draft beers

2/28: Mountain weekend with somewhat new friends - had 2 beers

3/4: either 2 or 3 glasses of wine at dinner and 2 woodchucks when I got back home

3/6: went to happy hour with some young teachers - had probably 5 small margaritas (they ordered pitchers) and 1 or 2 woodchuck

3/7: 3 8 ounce glasses of wine before and with dinner (I know the measurement, because I paid extra for those 3 more ounces, dammit!)

3/12: Bender 2 (see ramblings)

3/15: 2 small glasses of champagne at my mom's house

The breakdown:

• 3 episodes of "normal Moderate drinking" (meaning approximately 2 drinks)
• 4 episodes of "technical binge drinking" (I categorize this as technical binge drinking because CDC says binge drinking is 4 or more drinks in approximately 2 hour period - I however do not  categorize them as binges, because I am not drunk texting, dialing, and am still in decent control of my behavior)
• 2 "Extreme Binges" - when I have waaaaaay too much to drink - scary that I can drink so much and still function

So, I think after stopping drinking and then starting again, I can see how I picked right back up where I left off, and where I left off wasn't all that great.  I want to be the kind of mother my daughter will be proud of and to be present for her and set a good example for her.

The fact of the matter is that I do have a problem as I can clearly see looking back at my posts.  Alcohol owns me.  Honestly, I'm not happy drinking unless I am shitfaced and checked out and that is  not how I want to live my life - yes, it is MORE than enjoyable in that moment, but the aftermath???...not so enjoyable.  So, here I am starting again.

DAY 1